Resident evil The TV show
by Claire likeaboss Redfield
Summary: If they can survive an outbreak, They can host their own Television show. Read and review and no flamers
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- You know the drill I do not own Resident evil, or the TV talk shows.Summary- Ever wonder if the Re cast had their own talk shows.Here it goes The Claire Redfield show.*Audience- Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire*Steve- Here is your host Claire Redfield.

*Audience- Yeah ( screaming)

*Claire- Thank you, welcome to my show. and let's not forget my two

security guards Nemesis and Mr. X

*Audience -Yeah ( clapping)

*Claire- My guests today is Jill Valentine

*Audience- Wooooooooooooooooooo

*Claire- Tell me Jill why are you here today ?

*Jill- Well I have a secret to tell my boyfriend.

*Audience- Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*Claire- And that would be what ?

*Jill- I'm cheating on him with another guy.

*Claire- Well jilly you came to the right place.

*Audience-(clapping)

*Claire- Let's bring out Carlos Oliveria

*Carlos comes out with a scare look on his face.*

*Claire- Welcome to the show carlos.

*Carlos- Thank you for having me here.*Claire-Okay Jill tell Carlos why did you bring him here to the show.

*Jill- Well carlos I have a confession to make.

*Carlos- What is it ?

*Jill- I've been cheating on you.

*Audience- Awwwwwwww.

*Carlos- What? with who ?

*Jill- With Wesker, sorry Carlos but he's more of a man than you.

*Carlos- How long has this been going on ?

*Jill- Almost 6 months.

*Claire- Shall we bring out Wesker ?

*Audience- (Screaming) Yeah.

*Claire- Let's bring out Wesker.

*Wesker comes out on stage and kisses Jill.

*Audience- Whoaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Carlos- Why you son of a bitch.

* Carlos was about to punch Wesker, until wesker stop him and gave the famous thrust punch.

*Audience- Woooooooooo, Claire, Claire, Claire !!!!!!!!

*Claire- We'll be back in a few minutes.

*Music Plays*

*C. Redfield 86- Okay that's the end chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be up soon Just read and review. and no flamers.


	2. Chapter 2

Author Note- I don not own Resident evil or the characters but I do own this story. This is for my number 1 fan Divine Arion, Here is chapter 2 of Resident Evil- The talk show edition.

*Chapter 2- Judge Rebecca Chambers ( Redfield vs. Redfield)

*Announcer- Claire Redfield is suing her brother Chris Redfield for being a over-protector person . Chris says it's his job to be a over-protector brother.

*Billy- All rise for Judge Rebecca Chambers.

*Rebecca comes out and sits down.

*Billy- You may sit down now, case number 22226689 Redfield vs. Redfield

*Rebecca- Thank you Billy. Now Claire you are suing your brother Chris for being a over-protector person.

*Claire- Yes I am.

*Rebecca- Please tell me your case.

*Claire- Well your honor, my brother Chris is very over-protected he is so protective that I can't even go to the store without him bugging me.

*Chris- That's a lie.

*Rebecca- Chris wait until I hear Claire's side and then you go.

*Chris- *Sighs* Okay.

*Rebecca- Finished your story please.

*Claire- Thank you, The other day I went on date with my boyfriend Leon, and I came home a 2 or 3 in the morning. When I came in he was standing there.

*Rebecca- Is this true Chris ?

*Chris- Yeah it's true.

*Rebecca- Okay Chris please tell me your story.

*Chris- I do admit I am over-protective but she's my baby sister and I don't want to see her get hurt. I promise mom and dad that I would take care of her.

*Rebecca- She's a grown woman Chris, let her be herself.

*Chris- I guess your right. I'm sorry Claire, you're 24 and you have the right to stay out all night. But if Leon hurts you in any way shape or form I'm definitely breaking every bone in his body

*Rebecca- Chris.

*Chris- Sorry your honor. So can you forgive me Claire ?

*Claire- Yeah I forgive you.

* Chris had walk toward Claire and gave her the biggest hugs.

*Audience- Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

*Rebecca- Now that's what I wanted to see. Case dismissed.

C. Redfield- This idea just popped up in my head while I was in school today. Tell me what did you think just read and review and no flamers. Chapter 3 I need ideas any request your choice.


	3. CopsThe RPD edition

Author's note- I do not own Resident evil or the TV shows so don't sue me. This is a request for VieraHeart15 so here it goes Chapter 3 of resident evil- the talk show edition.

Chapter 3- Leon S. Kennedy and Carlos Oliveria

TV show- Cops. The R.P.D edition.

*Leon- Well me and my partner Carlos are just driving around and looking for anything strange.

*Carlos- Leon we're suppose to be meeting Chris today?

*Leon- * sighs* Carlos please stop complaining, We'll make it to Chris's house.

*Carlos- Mumbles things in Spanish, there is nothing go on out here.

*Leon- Look at man over there something tells me he's doing something funny.

*Carlos- How can you be so sure ?

*Leon- I'm a Kennedy and Kennedys can tell that something is strange.

*Carlos- (Sighs) Why I even hang with you ?

*Leon- I wonder about myself.

*Cameraman- Do you two always argue like this ?

*Carlos- Yeah we do.

*While Leon is driving, he sees a man trying to make a basket, but end up missing it. The guy was about to pick it up when he sees Carlos and Leon.

*Leon- Sir what are you doing ?

*Man- Uh I was about to pick it up sir. No need to mad.

*Leon- Really ?

*Man- Yeah I was.

*Leon- Well sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket.

*Carlos- Leon, really just give the man a break.

*Leon- No I will not.

* While Leon and Carlos starts to argue, the man took off running, when Leon sees this he starts to chase after the man. Carlos on the other was running but stop to flirt with some ladies.

*Leon- (Talking to the cameraman) Now this is what I action right Carlos ?, Carlos, where the hell he go ?

*Cameraman- Uh your friend is talking to those ladies over there.

*Leon-(sighs) I give up.

*Cameraman- Um sir you still have to pay us.

*Leon- Ah go fuck yourself.

*Cameraman- What was that ?

*Leon- (Gulp) I said you have to speak to the chief

*Cameraman-I thought so.

*Carlos- ( breathing hard) so did you catch the guy ?

*Leon- No. no thanks to you.

*Carlos- Me you we're about to give that man a ticket after he said we was going to pick it up.

*Leon- You suck.

*Carlos- No you suck.

*Cameraman- (Sighs) That's it I give up. Well that it for cops- The R.P.D edition, until then bye.

C. Redfield 86- Poor Leon couldn't catch the guy, and Carlos just being Carlos, Well that's chapter 3 of this story until then bye. Oh and by the way my friend had help me with this chapter.


	4. Cooking with Chris, Carlos and Leon

Author's note- I do not own Resident evil or the characters. But I do own this story is I'm surprised this story is getting good reviews. Here is chapter 4 of Resident Evil- The TV show.

Chapter 4- Cooking with Chris, Carlos and Leon.

Audience- (Clapping)

*Chris- Ah welcome to cooking, with Chris, Carlos and Leon.. The show where us guys shows can show you how to cook for your ladies.

*Leon- Our guests today are Jill Redfield, Claire Kennedy, and Rebecca Oliveria.

*Carlos- Oh let's not forget chris and jill kids.

*Leon- Today we are making chicken, macaroni and for dessert a chocolate cake since it's Jill's birthday.

*Chris- Her birthday today ?

*Carlos- How the hell you forget your own wife birthday?

*Chris- Well I did give her condoms.

*Carlos- Sometimes I wonder why did Jill marry you. ?

*Chris- You're just mad because she chose me over you.

*Carlos- I bet you Wesker probably would got to. her.

*Chris- You jackass

*Leon- (sighs) What a idiot these two are, anyway let's get started. First we're going to make the chicken first. Hey where is the chicken ?

*Carlos- Oh I forgot to take it out of the freezer.

*Leon- Oh boy. Chris you think you can make the mac and cheese ?

*Chris- You're talking to the chef.

*Leon- If you're a chef why did you burn pop tarts.

*Chris- I fell asleep.

*Carlos- Hey you think if I went to a store to pick up some chicken.

*Leon-Hey that's a great idea.

*Chris-Uh guys I think I messed up on the macaroni.

*Leon- And some macaroni and cheese?

*Carlos- Okay.

*Carlos was on his way out when he noticed smoke was coming from the stove.

*Carlos- Oh shit the cake. (Coughing)

*Chris-(coughing) Damn !!!!!!!!!

*Leon- Oh boy we're screwed

*Carlos- Big time.

*Leon- Carlos hurry back before Jill and the other arrived

*Carlos-Okay.

*When Carlos left, Leon and Chris decided to do the dishes, 45 minutes later Carlos had came back with chicken ,macaroni and cheese and a cake. After they set up the table Jill and company had came back.

*Chris- Ah Jill you came back just in time.

*Jill- How come the cameras are here?

*Leon-We're doing a cooking show.

*Claire- What's the name of it how to burn the house down.

*Becca- (laughing) good one Claire.

*Carlos- Everything is ready.

*When they entered the kitchen Carlos had set everything up perfectly,

*Jill- Wow this is nice.

*Chris- Since it is your birthday we wanted to cook for you right guys.

*Carlos and Leon- Yeah.

*Rebecca- let's dig in.

*Everybody-okay.

* Once everybody got finished eating, Jill went to put something in the trash when she noticed the chicken container. When she came in they all look at her.

*Jill- So how long it take to make dinner?

*Chris- About 3 hours.

*Jill- How come I found a chicken container in the trash can.

*Leon-Okay we Carlos forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer and me and Chris had burnt the cake, and Chris had messed up on the macaroni.

*Chris- Sorry

*Claire-This is why I cook.

*Rebecca- Me too, did you know that Carlos can't make noodles ?

*Claire-That's funny.

*Chris- Well that's it for cooking with Chris, Carlos and Leon.

C. Redfield 86- Well that's chapter 4 I wrote this for my friend, who thought it would be funny so is for him. I hope you enjoy this chapter, read and review.


	5. UFC Redfield vs Wesker

Author's note- As always I do not own Resident Evil, or the characters if I did I'll be the luckiest person ever. Anyway here is Chapter 5 of Resident evil- The TV Show.

Chapter 5- UFC-( Redfield vs. Wesker)

*Audience- (Screaming)

*Jill- Welcome to the UFC where everybody wants to fight anybody.

*Claire- That's right Jill, tonight My brother is going up against his rival.

*Rebecca- Let me guess it's Wesker ?

*Jill- Ding ding you're right. Let's bring out our fighters.

*Barry is standing in the ring ready to announce the fighters.

*Barry- In this corner wearing blues shorts is Chris" The Bone Breaker" Redfield.

*Audience starts screaming and waving at Chris.

*Barry- And at this corner wearing black shorts and black shades is Albert Wesker.

*Wesker takes off his shades and the whole room got quiet.

*Rebecca- Damn see how fast it got quiet ?

*Jill- Damn what a nice body Wesker is packing.

*Claire- Jill you're dating my brother, But you're right Wesker is packing aright.

*Rebecca- Jill, Claire uh the fight.

*Claire- Oh yeah let the fight began.

*Jill- Carlos right the bell.

*Carlos- Ok (rings the bell).

*Barry- Let's get ready to rumble.

*Audience-( Screaming)

* Chris and Wesker starts to walk towards, Wesker threw the first punch at Chris, Hitting him square in the face.

*Audience- Oohhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Chris- That didn't hurt.

*Wesker- (laughs evilly) Chris you're pathetic you'll never be like me.

*Chris- Wanna bet ?

*Wesker- Be my guest.

*Chris was about to punch Wesker, until Wesker grabbed his leg and tried to break it. Meanwhile Claire, Jill, and Rebecca were laughing at the scene.

*Rebecca- How long is this going to last ?

*Claire- Not Long believe me I witness the fight back at Antarctica and believe me that fight wasn't good.

*Jill-Oh boy.

*Rebecca- That's why he started working out.

*Jill- Yep.

*As they continue to talk, Chris and Wesker kept punching each other giving each other bruises on their bodies.

*Chris- Getting tired ?

*Wesker- No.

*Chris- This ends right here now.

*Wesker-Ump

*Chris and Wesker walk toward each other and punch the other person in the face where they both fell down.

*Audience- Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*Bell Rings- Ding Ding

*Audience- (screaming)

*Barry- It's a draw.

*Claire- Well that sucks.

*Rebecca- Yeah it did.

*Jill- Well people tuned in for the next episode of ufc until next time.

C. Redfield 86- I know this chapter kinda suck but I need something to write. Anyway just read and review.


	6. Raccoon Idol

Author Note- As always I do not own Resident Evil, or the characters I wish I did. Anyway this is for Divine Arion and Cupcakebooz here is chapter 6 of Resident Evil- The TV Show.

Chapter Six- American Idol

Leon-Hi, I'm Leon S. Kennedy and this is American idol today we in Raccoon City looking for the next American Idol.

*While Leon is looking for somebody he sees a very attractive girl and notices it was Claire.

*Leon- Uh Claire what are you doing here, you told me you had work.

*Claire-Well I got sick and came here to audition of American Idol.

*Leon-Oh boy. Well go through that door.

*Claire-(jumping) Yay !!!!!!!!!

*When Claire went into the room she saw Chris, Jill, and Wesker.

*Chris-Claire what are you doing here ?

*Claire- I want to be the next American idol.

*Jill- What song are you singing today ?

*Claire-I'm going to sing twinkle, twinkle little star.

*They all look at her funny.

*Chris- Okay let's hear it.

*Claire- Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are.

*While Claire was singing she sounded like a squeaky little mouse, this made wesker pissed, while Chris and Jill were snickering at her. When she was finished she waited for a answer.

*Claire- So am I going to Hollywood ?

*Wesker-Chris since she is your sister you tell her.

*Chris- (Gulp) Sorry sis but your not going.

*Claire-What ?

*Jill- He's right .

*Wesker- That was just sad mind you that these two were laughing at you.

*Chris- Hey

*Jill- Not cool.

*Wesker- Well it's true.

*Chris- You know wesker I'm tired of you.

*Wesker- Redfield let's battle it out

*Jill- Oh come on this is not the place or time.

*While wesker and Chris fight, Claire came out.

*Leon-I'm sorry.

*Claire-that's okay

*Leon- Uh what's going on in there.

*Claire- Oh nothing it just Chris and wesker fighting again.

*Leon- (sighs) Well that it for American idol, Kennedy out.

C. Redfield - Well that's it for chapter 6 I would like to thank my viewers for supporting me on this story.


	7. Raccoon's Kitchen

Disclaimer- I do not own Resident Evil, characters, or the TV shows. Don't sue me I have to pay my bills here is chapter 7 of Resident evil- The TV Show.

Title- Raccoon's kitchen (similar to hell's kitchen)

*Announcer- Our seven finalist are preparing their signature dishes for the great Albert Wesker.

*Chris- My dish is going to be the best.

*Claire- Not a chance bro.

*Carlos- No the ladies love my food.

*Jill- No Carlos that's called food poising.

*Leon-(Laughing) Good one Jill.

*Ada- Would y'all please shut up and finished cooking

*Claire- What a bitch( she said to herself)

*Ada- I heard that.

*An hour into the service wesker had came in dressed in a black chef's outfit and his shade.

*Wesker- how's it going ?

*Ada- The only thing they do is argue and bust on each other I can see why you betrayed them.

*Wesker- (sighs) go take a break and I'll finished up there.

Ada- Finally.

*While ada takes her break everybody finished up their plates and sets them on the table to be tasted.

*Wesker- okay who plate is this

*Jill-(raises her hand) It's my sir.

*Wesker- (Starts to eat it) What is it ?

*Jill- It's called the Valentine's Violence.

*Wesker- Not bad valentine you should been a chef instead of a cop it's very spicy.

*Jill- and so I heard.

*Wesker- Please go back. Okay who plate is this ?

*Rebecca- It's mine it's called the mixed pasta.

*Wesker- What's the brown seasoning ?

Rebecca- It's mine secret ingredients

*When wesker starts to taste it he spit it out.

*Wesker- What the hell is on it ?

*Rebecca- Uh I put a mixed herb on it.

*Wesker- Omg ugh, ok next plate. Who made lobster pasta.

*Chris-(raises his hand) I did.

*Wesker- Not bad Redfield, finally you did something without being reckless.

*Chris- Hey I can kick you ass for saying that.

*Wesker- Can it Redfield. Okay next plate who made tacos.

*Carlos- I did sir they're very good.

*Wesker- I'll see for myself.

*When Wesker took a bite the hamburger wasn't cook all the way making him spit up.

*Wesker- (coughing) What hell the meat is not cook all the way.

*Carlos-Sorry I distracted.

*Wesker- (Sigh) Okay next plate please.

*When Wesker opened the cover up it was some unknown soup that smelled kinda funny.

*Wesker- Who the hell made this ?

*Claire- I did it's called the Redfield Rumble.

*Wesker- It made my stomach rumble that's for sure.

*Claire- Jerk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*Wesker- Next please who mad p,b.j with hot sauce.

*Leon- I did sir taste it.

*Wesker- Uh no how old are you nine ?

*Leon- No I'm 27.

*Wesker- Well act your age. Okay this is the last plate.

*When Wesker open up the last cover it was a sandwich with a picture of Jill in it.

*Wesker-Who put a picture of Jill in the sandwich?

*Barry- I did it's called a jill Sandwich and it's very tasty.

*Wesker- Ugh I give up.

86- Oh poor Wesker can't even get a break, Well that's chapter 7 There's only a couple of chapters left for this story. Read and Review


	8. Rebecca

Disclaimer- I do not own Resident Evil, the characters or the TV shows anyway here is chapter eight of Re- The TV show.

Chapter 8- Rebecca.

*Audience- (clapping)

*Rebecca- Today on my show we're doing DNA test. Today guest is Jill and she came to prove that her husband of six years that he is the father of the 2 week old son Chris, Jr. But Chris thinks that he is not the dad. So tell me why doesn't he thinks he not the father.

*Jill- (crying) He says that he doesn't look like him and like when he comes home from work he doesn't pay attention to him.

*Rebecca- do he deny your other child?

*Jill-(sniffles) No he loves Jordan to death.

*Rebecca- Let's bring out Chris.

*Audience-Boooooooooooooooooooooo.

*Rebecca-Welcome to the show Chris.

*Chris- Thanks for having me.

*Rebecca- Now tell me why are you denying your son?

*Chris- He doesn't look like.

*Jill- He looks more like me.

*Rebecca- Does Jordan look like you?

*Chris- Yes he do.

*Rebecca- If you're the father are you going to raise him?

*Chris-Yeah I will and I'll apologize to Jill and my family.

*Rebecca-Let's get the results.

*Audience- (Screams)

*Rebecca- In the case of 2 week old chris, jr. Chris you are the father.

*Audience- Whoooooooooooooooooooo.

*Chris- Like I said Jill, I'm sorry for being a jackass to our son.

*Jill-I'll forgive you.

C. Redfield 86- I was watching maury and this idea popped up in my head anyway please don't be mad just read and review my next chapter will probably a wwe.


	9. WWe

Author's Note- Like I said I do not own Resident Evil or the characters they all belong to Capcom. Here is chapter 9 of Resident Evil- The TV show.

Chapter 9- WWE Leon vs. Carlos

*Audience- Wooooooooooooooooooooooo

*Chris- Welcome to another great episode of Wwe. I'm Chris Redfield

*Jill-I'm Jill Valentine.

*Claire- And I'm Claire Redfield who's fighting anyway ?

*Chris- They didn't say it's a secret.

*Jill-Oh well let's bring out the wrestlers.

*Announcer- Coming the isle is Carlos "The Flirt" Oliveria

*Audience- Carlos, Carlos, Carlos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Carlos gets in the ring and starts singing in Spanish.

*Carlos- The ladies loves my accent.

*Announcer- And here comes Leon " The rookie-agent" Kennedy.

*Audience- Leon, Leon, Leon.

*Leon comes out and starts shaking the fans hands Then fell in the ring.

*Chris- Ouch that had to hurt.

*Jill-Indeed it did.

*Claire-(sighs) let's get started.

(Bells rings)

*Announcer- Let the fight begin.

*Carlos and Leon started to grabbed one other, Leon had flung Carlos over the ring where he landed on the floor. Carlos had quickly got up and grabbed Leon's hair.

*Leon- Ah my hair.

*Carlos- Aww sorry agent-boy. But it's my time to shine.

*Leon-Not on my watch.

*Leon had reversed the move and knocked Carlos out and pinned him down.

*Ref- 1, 2, 3

(Ding Ding)

*Announcer- And the winner is Leon" The rookie-agent" Kennedy.

*Audience- Yay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Claire- Well that suck right guys, Chris, Jill. Hey where the hell they go.?

*Chris and Jill had came back with their clothes all mess up.

*Chris-Hey sis who won ?

*Claire- Leon had won the match, uh why is y'all clothes all mess up.

*Jill- Well Chris had fell and I uh, uh uh.

*Claire- Eww that's really gross I don't know why I asked. Anyway tune in for another great episode of wwe until then bye.

C. Redfield- That's chapter 9 of this story. My friend had wrote this story and I decide to type it up for him. There's only one more chapter left until then bye.


	10. 60 mins

Author's note- I do own Resident Evil or the characters, they all belong to Capcom. Well this is the last chapter of this story, Here is chapter 10 of Resident Evil- The TV show.

Chapter 10- 60 minutes with Jill Valentine.

*Jill- Today on 60 minutes I'm interviewing Albert Wesker the man behind the shades. So tell me wesker, how does it feels to betray other people ?

*Wesker- (laughs evilly) I feel like king of the world.

*Jill- Really, how bad you want to kill Chris.

*Wesker- That name makes my blood boil, Redfield the battle is not yet over.

*Jill- Do you have any regrets, on anything you did ?

*Wesker- No

*Jill-Why ?

*Wesker- Because I don't.

*Jill- Can you turn into a tyrant ?

*Wesker- Yes but I chose not to.

*Jill- Why ?

*Wesker-(getting angry) because I said so.

*Jill-(sighs) okay no need to get all pms on me.

*Wesker-I'm not a woman.

*Jill- The way you're acting and bitching.

*Wesker- That's it this interview is over.

*Jill- (Sighs) That's it for 60 mins I'm Jill Valentine and have a good night.

C. Redfield 86- Well that's the last chapter of this story don't worry I'll write another one for v-day. This is for my friend who though this would be funny.


End file.
